[Transcription is auto-generated and may not be perfect]
0:05
hey you welcome to sacrilegious
discourse i'm husband i'm wife and
together we're reading the bible
starting with genesis and eventually
ending with revelations we're working
through every book and offering our
atheist two cents four shekels yeah
we're asking questions and pointing out
all the nonsense we aren't academics or
scholars nope in fact when it comes to
religion we really don't know anything
what we've learned so far is that god's
a dick oh he really is isn't he if
you're interested in how we reached this
startling conclusion maybe start from
episode one otherwise jump in anywhere
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um we're about to start um genesis
can't wait do you think it'll be better
i think i see some story up ahead oh
well that's awesome because i'm done
with the begetting yeah me too let's do
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okay so we're doing genesis chapter 12
god's call to abram do you think you use
i'm gonna guess if he did that it wasn't
they didn't have the 5g back then no 5g
but um at least there's some story
coming yeah that sounds like excitement
let's see maybe i know yeah don't get
the lord had said to abram leave your
native country your relatives and your
father's family and go to the land that
i will show you i will make you into a
great nation i will bless you and make
you famous and you will be a blessing to
others i will bless those who bless you
and curse those who treat you with
contempt plus some high promise in there
and he's gotta he's like he's like dude
all right young guns all the families on
earth will be blessed through you i mean
you kind of gotta go under a promise i
guess yeah you're like gonna be a rock
star you're gonna be a rock star
i guess this isn't the place where we
praise nicole back home no dang it
so abram departed as the lord had
instructed and lot went with him abram
was seventy-five he said he knew lot
there he is there's a lot there goes
abram was 75 years old when he left
haron he took his wife sarai his nephew
lot and all his wealth his livestock and
all the people he had taken into his
household at iran and headed for the
when they arrived in canaan abram
traveled through the land as far as
yeah sure shut your mouth i don't know
there he set up camp beside the oak of
yeah the one oak you know the oak
at that time the area was inhabited by
canaanites yeah i hate it when people
are already living right i am going to
nights those [ __ ] out of here i don't
know if they're [ __ ] don't be so rude
sorry maybe they're maybe they're good
people you're right yeah i don't know i
mean afterwards weren't those the people
that were cursed or something like that
i mean god killed a lot of people he
so i mean but like back when noah like
remember he cursed the one son
or the grandson the grandson grandson i
don't remember which one it was though i
don't know okay it's too many people to
then the lord appeared to abram and said
i will give this land to your
descendants and april built an altar
there and dedicated it to the lord who
man the lord never appears to me i know
right after that i hear it all the time
after that abram traveled south and set
up camp in the hill country with bethel
okay i want to say it just like that
there he built another altar and
dedicated it to the lord and he
worshipped the lord these are probably
the altars where they sacrifice stuff
worship and sacrifice worship and
then abram continued traveling south by
najib i don't know i have no idea either
okay so here we start um abram in egypt
it's not a new chapter just a new little
well i saw your finger getting ready to
no it didn't it was nowhere near it
actually okay well we'll see
we can't lose abram i lost abram okay
there he is he's in egypt
i accidentally click on one of the
at that time a severe famine struck the
land of canaan forcing abram to go down
to egypt where he lived as a foreigner
you foreigner so wait wait i thought god
promised that if he went to canaan that
he'd be like a rock star pseudo like
and now he's being forced to go down to
egypt because famine uh dude i don't
know if they had gps i think god's a
liar maybe maybe god lied or maybe they
read the map wrong i i don't know i
as he was approaching the border of
egypt abram said to his wife sarai look
you are very beautiful woman when the
egyptians see you they will say
this is his wife let's kill him then we
good people when you gotta assume that's
you know that you are not living in good
she's so pretty it only took a few
generations apparently to get back to
shitty people again yeah yeah nobody
learns sounds familiar right
so please tell them you are my sister
how does that help because
then they can just rape her without
killing him and then raping her oh so
it's okay if she gets raped yeah i mean
she's true he doesn't die she's pretty
she's gonna get raped regardless okay as
long as i mean rape is gonna rape
potatoes gonna potate and haters gonna
the question is not whether she's gonna
get raped it's whether dude is gonna
and you know those men's that are
important i mean according to this men
beasts you know they can't help
themselves right but they're also very
important they're much more important
than women they're important beasts yeah
so please tell them you are my sister
then they will spare my life and treat
me well because of their interest in you
i don't know if that's a good plan but
it doesn't sound like it's solid right i
i don't think i'd take you on a trip
where i knew somebody was going to rape
i mean maybe he thinks that they won't
but it seems like it doesn't seem like
that's what he thinks i know right but
you know maybe i'm wrong let's just live
here dude and i think you would be like
yeah that's a good solid plan right i
let's just let's go with famine yeah i'm
good with famine i appreciate that in
you thank you husband no problem wife
and sure enough oh we were wrong
apparently it was a solid plan and sure
enough when abram arrived in egypt
everyone noticed sarai's beauty when the
palace officials saw her they sang her
praises to pharaoh their king and sarai
was taken into his palace
then pharaoh gave abram many gifts
because of her sheep goats cattle male
and female donkeys male and female
servants and camels it doesn't say they
didn't rape her it doesn't say that they
didn't and they're giving them an awful
lot of gifts let me ask you this where
it says servants do you think that we
could replace that with the word slave
well yeah because if you're giving
somebody a person yeah their property
that's a slave yeah so why don't they
just say slave instead of service
because the bible's not that progressive
yet oh okay not even this um translation
that'd be like a bible that we we wrote
yeah that would be a bible that somebody
that is not a christian road because you
can't you can't say that they were
am saying you know what henceforth every
time i see the word servant i am going
to replace it with slave i'll probably
make a note as i do so but i am
anti-white-washing history i would hope
most people that are listening to this
most people that are listening to this
yes but there are too many who are not
anti-slave and i don't like those people
i don't know okay they're poopy all
right you should all be anti-slave right
we're we're not for white washington you
should be anti-white woman right sorry i
was just making sure that was clear
yes let us not whitewash history and let
mean slave but they say something else
right okay side note yeah jesus was
brown he was brown he was brown
he was not white i don't care what you
try to tell me exactly we're not at that
part of the book that's the news but i
just wanted to throw that out there real
quick but yeah it's worth saying right
okay so if you wonder where we stand
before you kick us to the curb you
should know that jesus be brown jesus be
no jesus was definitely brown for sure
but the lord sent terrible plagues upon
pharaoh in his household because of
so basically the lord was like
[ __ ] you're too pretty for the pharaoh
get out abram take your wife and get i
don't understand why is the lord mad at
pharaoh probably because he's raping his
because he's raping abram's wife yeah
and abram was like you know god's dude
okay that's true i'm so confused so
pharaoh summoned abram and accused him
so basically if you ever have a plague
you should definitely assume it's
personal and that god is getting you
well he came down and talked to them
but did he talk to pharaoh
he doesn't say that he cursed him
but okay but god did not come talk to
pharaoh right so pharaoh's just assuming
well there's a pox on me so clearly god
is pissed and it must be abram's fault
abram what have you done to me he
demanded why didn't you tell me she was
your wife whoa that was a leap right
they never said that he said that how
did he figure that out god must have
told him right why did you say she is my
sister and allow me to take her as my
wife see i told you there was some oh
that is rape right there that is some
serious ass rape told you abram's
not completely okay because he took lots
of gifts for this yeah poor sarai right
she had no choice one way or the other
women had it shitty back then oh i'm
this is not okay right now then here's
your wife take her and get out of here
[ __ ] and take your box with you
pharaoh ordered some of his men to
escort them and he sent abram out of the
country along with his wife and all his
possessions well at least he let him
keep all his possessions that he gave
him i guess and his raped ass wife right
so he got out of that pretty good i
guess abram did get out of that pretty
good yeah all right but still i'm sorry
for sarai yeah that's shitty and i'm
sorry if i'm saying her name wrong but i
think god's kind of shitty too
i mean like i don't know if you've got
the power to let somebody not get raped
and you're like i'm just gonna see how
this plays out well he also visits
sometimes why doesn't he just come down
be like dudes just let this guy pass and
i won't screw with you yeah exactly you
know no poxes abram was his dude right
yeah he's like i'm gonna make you famous
dude yeah i'm gonna make you famous but
along the way your wife's gonna get a
lot of raping right i mean what yeah
stupid this story is dumb okay that's
the end of that chapter all right we'll
see uh chapter 13 in just a minute i
can't wait to see what happens
okay genesis chapter 13. all right lucky
abram and lot separate are you ready
so abram left egypt and traveled north
along with his wife and lot and all that
they owned including those servants
which are actually slaves right
abram was very rich in livestock silver
and gold because he let his wife be
raped a lot yeah and taken as a
wife by the pharaoh right
my wife is so beautiful i sold her ass
for all these jewels look at me
right right that says a lot about a god
was this how he was supposed to get rich
and famous who knows but i don't
they continued traveling by stages
toward bethel and they pitched their
tents and pitched their tents between i
know i'm so dirty but i can't hear pitch
the tent without thinking naughty things
right sorry they pitched their tents
between bethel and ie where they had
this was the same place where abram had
built the altar remember yeah
and there he worshipped the lord again
by sacrificing [ __ ] by sacrificing more
than likely yeah it's an altar yeah
that's what you do right and also
probably burning some incense they did
that a lot do you think they had incense
back then well that's probably more like
sage or something right or something i
mean some kind of family they just like
lit on fire some kind of smelly good yum
yums okay i don't know i'm just assuming
well the lord liked the smell of burnt
lot who was traveling with abram had
with flocks of sheep and goats herds of
cattle and many tents but the land could
not support both abram and lot with all
their flocks and herds living so close
together that's been a lot of [ __ ] could
you imagine having so many animals that
okay our animals are eating too much
grass and there's that many and like is
it just the two of them taking care of
them i guess and and the slaves oh
that's right they got slaves yeah
i'm sorry servants my bad whatever they
were slaves yeah but the land could not
support blah blah blah blah so disputes
broke out between the herdsmen of abram
my slave's gonna beat your slave up
at that time canaanites and perizzites
were also living in the land oh so
there's also these other people right
around so it wasn't just their herds
that was taking up resources it was all
these other people right the heights
finally abram said to lot let's not
allow this conflict to come between us
or our herdsmen after all we are close
relatives the whole countryside is open
to you take your choice of any section
of the land you want and we will
separate if you want the land to the
left then i'll take the land on the
right if you prefer the land on the
right then i'll go to the left if you
spin around wouldn't it be the opposite
i mean i think he's trying to be
reasonable right i mean it sounds
reasonable i'm just saying it's vague to
say left and right you'd think they'd
use like east and western well okay but
if he's standing there like facing him
and he's got his hands out then
you know the person that he's talking to
can see which way he's saying like you
want the right i'll take the lift you
want to reminded me of that rem song
stand in the place where you were
i mean they could just as well have
saying that and make their decision that
lot took a long look at the fertile
plains of the jordan valley in the
zoar zor i don't know sure the whole
area was well watered everywhere like
the garden of the lord or the beautiful
land of egypt this was before the lord
destroyed sodom and gomorrah it's funny
they mentioned egypt this is like well
you know nice land but i always think of
egypt as like dry desert desert yeah
i think it's funny that they're
mentioning you know how the god
destroyed sodom and gomorrah and it's
like no we haven't [ __ ] got to that
part of the story yet right like
again bad storytelling yeah
lot chose for himself the whole jordan
valley to the east of them he went there
with his flocks and servants and parted
company with his uncle abram so abram
settled in the land of canaan and lot
moved his tents to a place near sodom
and settled among the cities of the
plain but the people of this area were
extremely wicked and constantly sinned
after lot had gone the lord said to
abram look as far as you can see in
every direction north and south east and
west i am giving all this land as far as
you can see to you and your descendants
as a permanent possession doesn't that
seem like the canaanites were already
there i know but i was thinking doesn't
that seem like um the lion king when
simba's like look as far as you can see
all the pride lands these are all yours
i just i mean like but possession is in
the bible like god was giving
possessions to people yeah of land yeah
like that people were already living on
it was always so much more appealing to
me like the native american think like
take from the land which you need and
that's it and you don't own the land you
don't own the land right you live on the
land and with the land and among the
land right i always liked that so much
better yeah me too i think i think our
god had it wrong i think god had it
wrong i i think god i don't think that
we were made in god god's image i think
god was made in man's image
yeah and i don't think that god exists
well yeah that's gross i mean we made
that clear right so but i'm just saying
there's no way that i could ever believe
possessions and land and the raping of
women and the sacrificing of animals
right i mean god sounds like the worst
of us he does he sounds like a terrible
terrible person right he sounds like
well it's funny to me like you know i
the capitalist [ __ ] that take all
jesus kind of as like the socialist
revolutionist yeah yeah isn't that funny
and they're supposed to be like the same
right right it's the same it's the same
quote-unquote religion sort of kind of
they're you know there's they're
supposed to be the same entity just
different versions that appeal to
but like there is absolutely no part of
this god that appeals to me in any way
like even if god changes and does things
differently through jesus i'm like but
you still did these other horrible
things that to me are unforgivable
i don't know it's a good thing i'm not a
and i will give you so many descendants
like that like the dust of the earth
they cannot be counted go and walk
through the land in every direction for
so abram moved his camp to hebron and
walked near the oak grove belonging to
there he built another altar to the lord
yeah i guess if god is giving you like
that you would um build another altar
and kill some more animals and be like
awesome oh yeah he's like hooking you up
man yeah yeah picking you up yeah just
this whole thing is grotesque yeah i'm
glad that's the end of that chapter
yep but unfortunately i think there will
be more to come in future chapters that
will disgust me further well yeah i'm
quite certain of it because it seems to
going theme i know i just was hoping
that as we read through this that i
would discover that my preconceptions
were wrong and misplaced and that there
would be some loveliness and maybe there
will be further but so far genesis is
like trash why would our preceptions be
wrong like they're these stories are so
prevalent in society and so prevalent in
we're bound to know them well enough to
know the basis and the basics of
this religion and where it's based from
so our preconceptions are
more often than not fairly accurate i
would say i mean you're right you're
right i just i was hoping that there
would be some kind of redeeming value
some kind of beauty in it that
the the narrative part you know that i
only knew about the grotesque parts and
that i would read through this and be
impressed with it and be like yes but
all these beautiful things
and thus far it's just trash and i'm
just disappointed so not this week maybe
we shall see all right join us next week
what are we on 14 and 15. i think so
that sounds right okay i'll know better
next time we'll see you guys then
um is there a way for people to contact
they can uh get on our twitter account
we have a twitter account we do what is
it it is sacrilegious underscore d
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hate them yeah that's disgusting how do
you spell sacrilegious do you know i
don't want to just look it up in a
i don't i don't want to do that right
now you know why sacrilegious underscore
d okay cause you messed it up and i made
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about an email yeah we got that too
sacrilegious discourse at gmail.com oh
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